2002-04-12 - 1:35 p.m.
I have been having a good day. I think it is due to the rare sunshine I woke up to this morning. It was my intention to go down south (Los Angeles) to visit my parents and sister this weekend. I am facing three obstacles: 1) my car is starting to poop out and I do not want to take it on too many long trips anymore; 2) it does not look like I can get away from work early enough to beat traffic today, so I know I am going to be sitting in hours of traffic on the 580 freeway if I leave now 3) my friends have planned to go out tonight and tommorow night so I have been very tempted to stay. On the other hand, I know I am not going to get a chance to visit my parents for at least another 3 weeks because I have planned my weekends away already. So, my other option has been to try and rent a car at some point today and just take off, throwing caution to the wind. Not my style, but I am flexible.
I wrote an essay a few days ago which explained my biologist point-of-view for the social ills and world conflicts we are seeing now-a-days. It was nothing spectacular, and probably nothing original. But it was good for me to put it down on paper (metaphorically speaking) so that I understood my own point of view in afterthought. The basic gist was that in evolutionary terms, the successful people of the planet are creating a safety-net for themselves so that they remain dominant, not because of anything human, but because it is biologically, the logical thing that happens. Along with that I wrote all of the details that might go with it, but it is too much to write here. My personal conflict has been to choose whether I want to be part of the group that does not give a darn about the suffering, or to be a suffragist and sacrifice myself among the downtrodden in the evolutionary gene pool, for the sake of moral righteousness. The logic behind that is that, in contrast to spiritual belief or religious understanding, the world began as a place of evil (or the natural equivalent of evil which would be like a kill-or-be-killed situation), and goodness is the anomaly, rather than the reverse. So to stay with the norm, I will not (because of my natural endowment of self-consciousness or intelligence or whatever you might want to define it as) go against nature. I will not weed myself out. I will do the natural thing and take advantage of demise of others in order to take my genes to the higher classes where the guarantee of their survival will be enhanced. Ruthlessness has had its place in human evolution and today is no exception in time.
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