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2002-04-23 - 6:12 p.m.

I have had some conversations recently where I felt extremely uncomfortable. For one thing, different people with whom I speak have different levels of understanding regarding the issues of the world, which invariably occupy my mind 99 percent of the time. And I DO mean different LEVELS of understanding, not points of view. POINTS of VIEW are a whole other issue in themselves, which when I am conversing with people about that, it is much less stressful.

People with a different point of view are the ones whom you know to be well-versed on issues and whose stance is that opposite of your own, therefore, it is easier to speak and discuss things, because you do not talk about the issues that really matter since it would cause a fight. Often, when you meet such a person, the first few minutes of greeting are the ones that establish whether or not you choose to talk to that person about world affairs.

People with a different level of understanding, however, are incredibly difficult to talk to, because they do not have this concept of talk or don't talk down. They are the ones who have chosen not to (or do not regularly do so at all) read about world affairs, put themselves in all shoes, pondered it in over their mind, examined their own roles, and chosen to give a flying f__k about it. Instead, they listen to mass-media, corporate propeganda, political "strategerie" (coined by our beloved president) of the populous mindset, and decide to fill in the gaps (Oh God help me with these enormous chasms of gaps!) with snipets of information they can pick up from the more educated. It NEVER fails that I end up having to give a history lesson that ends up sounding un-patriotic, endangering everything that that person has ever called a matter of stability in their life, and end up either offending that person or scaring them off, or pissing them off with what they think is my "bias".

Okay. Granted that I have my opinions and beliefs which makes the whole issue of transfering my knowledge to others a form of propeganda in itself. But I am not getting paid, I gain nothing from it, it actually...physically...pains me sometimes to do it since some people can be hostile. It is extremely hard to explain how much thinking and role playing I have done for myself to try to understand all sides of an issue that I discuss (in order to show a person that I have tried my hardest not to sound biased without good reason). In return it is difficult to make a person go through that same process, give them the same information, make them undergo the same emotional reaction to things seen, heard, felt, and experienced, so as to make them understand what truly brings me to a decision about my understanding about such issues.

Seriously speaking, some people are morons. Not to put them down, but some people can not handle thinking about global issues at a level of this complexity. This is not to say that they are less intelligent: they probably have a great deal of knowledge about things that I do not know...fixing a washing machine, fly fishing, the batting averages of pro baseball players of the sixties, the correct brush size to use when painting on certain canvases to get the desired effect, etc., etc.. Yes, this is information. Yes, this is useful to them. But at the same time, if they are the people who are not aware of the truth behind the things going on in the world around them, it separates them from the global community. The community that is suffering due to the contributions these same people make to their government as citizens in the form of taxes. Some of them even go to such lengths as to simply believe everything they are told on the nightly news without investigating the sources or the lean of a story they are being fed, and joining groups (e.g., the U.S. military) to defend it all. Killing the people suffering because we have been told they are evil. In the society I know as America, the poorest, and the most wretched people of the streets have more opportunity and benefits than the middle class of the rest of the world. The resources of the world are being raped from their origins and brought to America and other rich nations at the cost of nature and the environment. Psychological scars are being inflicted en masse upon billions of people because of the happy-happy joy-joy lifestyle I get to live. And this is due to the injustice brought about by colonialism and the savage ruthlessness of Capitalism. I try to be reasonable. I do not put such people down in my mind. There are all kinds of people in this world. From the lame to the genius to the psychopath to the simpleton. Each has their place and reason for being. But when the truth is out there and evil is keeping the blindfold on them, I cannot stand idly by letting it drag me down to annihilation. Not for the sake of justice. Not without a fight. I will die on my feet rather than live on my knees. (quote by Zapata)

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