2002-06-05 - 5:04 p.m.
I do not know what life is, where it is rooted or how it ends. I do not know if it stems from chaos or order, nor do I know when it was meant to finish playing out its role, reporting back to its creator that it is a thing of immense possibilities, but not an inkling of tapping its full potential, when applied to the form of energy known as matter. The fathomless order that exists in the concept of infinity around us is a far more ruinous idea for the mind to ponder than would be the disorder. The mind is not capable of that, hence our ever growing distance from knowing God. Simply the attempt at knowing God, is the reason for the growing gap. Paradoxical as it may be, the established order of infinity commands that it be this way. God, as a concept of creator, is therefore beyond its own creation. It IS creation, and cannot be destroyed. It cannot be created either, for that matter. It is what it is. Nothing more. And in the physical world that we know, simply for the fact that infinity can only exist in our world and nowhere else, not any other universe or any other point in space time, only in ours, the infinite cycle of existence and non-existence of everything including us and our concept of the creator, in the very impulses of every quantum of energy that makes up the quarks and the photons and the electrons and the neutrons and the protons and every particle matter in between, from the infinitely highest to the infinitely lowest frequency of energy possible in our universe, exists and is preserved, the concept of the creator. There exists within, along with the concept, the creator itself. In its balance of existence and non-existence, the creator is trying to define itself through its rapture in what is within its control; that is, absolute logic within this world. In another universe, the creator may have created complete disorder and the opposite of logic, and in that lack of ristrictiveness of logic, discovered the meaning of its existence. Nevertheless, for having simply created the logic and rules by which infinity, both large and small, works in this existence, it is bound to it until the energy within it forms the correct sequence of patters, that is forms of thought, that transcend the boundaries of logic and truly approach the limits of this universe, licking at the heels of the other(s). That single combination, that simple attempt, that powerful step of this arm of the creator (God), whether it is done by the electron in the heart of a distant sun, or the infrared photon emitted by the decay of a plutonium atom buried deep in the cells of an algae in the recesses of a cave in the marinara trench, that unbelievable step will be the key to liberating the creator from the bondage of its existence. Then will reign the freedom of nothingness. God wil have been set free. God will have discovered the end of itself. As though it were the playing-out of a never-ending story, God will have fulfilled its debt to fate which was larger than even it. The creator would finally be created and destroyed. The creator would have fulfiled its debt to itself. The concept of thought, beyond its binding physicality in nerve impulses and dependence on brains, is the closest thing to that which would liberate the creator. Sent out along nonexistent paradigms and unbound by lack of matrices, thought can transcend the logic by which the creator is bound here. Not for lack of feign attempts, thoughts involuntarily attempt this leap to the illogical, but not so much that they reach it and cease to be. That is the definition of madness and heance the death of that thought's usefulness. Within the very existence of illogic is the concept that it cannot be forced thing to be understood. Hence our creator, as it is within this world, cannot force this leap to be made. The thought cannot be forced to commit its own suicide. It is a choice to be willed. Thus, as bound as a thought is to the physical, its independent choice to free itself, and hence its creator which is inherently a part of itself, is never obstructed. But the great game is that the leap must be made by thought's own volition, not without guidance, naturally from the creator, but still bound to the greater theme of the same thing over which even the creator has no control: fate. The playing out of the story. The purpose of being. The need for a Devil. The cruel part of eternity.
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